Things men should know.

• A text once every two days will keep us happy
• If you phone us we'll be terrified but we'll love it nonetheless
• If you are honest about just wanting to get laid, then no one will get hurt. 
• Generally there are around three-four kisses between you and sex.
• We want to get laid just as much as you do
• Yes receiving flowers at work would be embarrassing but SO romantic.  We will be unable to say no to anything you ask.
• When you blow hot and cold we have no idea what to do but you get right under our skins.
• "I have a free house" is code for "there is a seriously good chance you are going to get lucky"
• Find some way to let us know we're on your mind.
• We like to look at your bum too sometimes.  Low rider jeans are your enemy.

In other news, I am so fed up of game playing.  Why can't I just talk to you when I want to talk to you and not worry about seeming 'desperate'? I mean jesus you were three letters away from the L word within twelve hours of meeting.  What the hell?

But men of the world, follow the above rules and you'll be golden!

Which one is yours?

Btw, if anyone is wondering why the titles to these blogs are so random, I just give it the title of the last thing the television said.

I don't really have anything to say tonight, just felt like blogging.  Had a dream last night about meeting a guy accidentally that I had been talking to online.  The guys doesn't actually exist but spent the whole day trying to place who he was and then realised that the face was a guy in the Martock Panto.  I have a feeling the guy wasn't very old (around 16 or 17) but I don't feel too bad because it was a) just his face and b) nothing happened.  Anyway, because of this dream, I have spent the whole day feeling a bit moppy and single and unloved.  Its not a feeling I generally have to deal with but just missing the fun stuff of a new relationship - butterflies when you first kiss and so many other things.

In other news, Martin Clunes was also in that dream.  Very Random.

Also, I am going to attempt to write a Panto.  Wish me Luck :)

Dude, I think we just fixed church.

So, its still only six days in to 2012 and it is still not getting any better.  It was supposed to be my final day working for tesco tomorrow but I have come down with this absolutely horrendous stomach bug today, slept all day and I am now wide awake.  So hence, the blog.  Having said that, I still don't feel a 100% and part of me is thinking that it was my last day anyway, so its not like they're going to fire me for not going in tomorrow, especially as I do genuinely seem to be ill and it is looking like I won't be getting a lot of sleep tonight anyway.  Although having said that I did wake up at like half three which is not the latest I've ever slept in.

Anyway, on the flip side, I am seriously excited for How I Met Your Mother themed birthday bash in Wootown on Thursday (just six days to go!).  That is also a the reason for the title of this post.  A little worried about how my costume is going to turn out.  Maybe a little too slutty and a little worried that anyone who doesn't know about How I Met Your Mother is going to think that I have just dressed in an orange dress with weird holes in it, three months too late for Halloween.

There again, this time six years ago, I literally would not have cared about what people thought of how I looked.  Which is worrying when you think about it, where did all that confidence go?? I used to be one of the most super confident and relaxed people in the world.  Where has that gone? How do I get it back?  I personally think the answer to those questions lies in me being happy with who I am again, and I don't know if that means changing certain things that I am unhappy with or learning to live with them.  At the moment it feels as though I need outside acceptance in order for me to be happy with who I am, but I know better than most that outside acceptance just makes you crave outside acceptance from more people and therefore clearly doesn't work.  I have a horrible feeling that this low self-esteem is also coming from being in a place where I just don't know where my life is headed and I'm not spending a huge amount of time with any of my best friends anymore and when we do spend time together we are so incredibly focused on making sure we have fun that I think sometimes we forget all the little things that we wanted to talk to each other about before we met up.  I know it sounds weird that I'm making that a negative but if you think about it deeply I think you'll understand why.

Okay, just realised this probably reads like a stream of conciousness so perhaps I am a little more tired than I first alluded too so I'm gonna sign off now.

Is anyone reading this btw?

2012

Well, so far, I actually hope this is the end.

This year is just going so incredibly badly that I don't know what to do with myself.  I am single, newly unemployed, my phone managed to get itself a virus, I'm skint and I just feel as though life is going no where.  I would apologise for whinging but at the end of the day (it gets dark) I tend to use this blog in order to vent my feelings of upset and annoyance at the world and therefore if you don't like it go read someone else's blog.

I tend not to rant at people in reality so therefore I'm going to rant on here.  I don't know what to do about my job, I just don't feel like I have the stamina to spend all that time trying to find another job again.  I don't want to end up spiralling in to a new and fun state of total depression but at the end of the day its not really something you can control.

Also, why is it that just as I get my head around cutting someone out of my life they find their way back in, and then when I decide to just keep them as a friend they bring back feelings that have gone and then just as I convince myself that perhaps they feel the same way too, they pull a 180.  Guys - do you have some sort of radar for when women are thinking about relationships?  OH! OH! Also, it is NOT acceptable to tell someone who you have slept with or who you know likes you, that you fancy their best friend.  NEVER, EVER, EVER acceptable.  No.

So, as it stands at the moment, I am beginning this year retreating back in to my own little world, and trying to remember that I should not trust anyone when it comes to matters of the heart. Even though it seems that people far less nice and (yes I'm gonna say it) attractive than I am manage to find themselves a life partner, clearly it is not meant for me.

2012, 23, 0.
Happy New Year.