Anyway, on the flip side, I am seriously excited for How I Met Your Mother themed birthday bash in Wootown on Thursday (just six days to go!). That is also a the reason for the title of this post. A little worried about how my costume is going to turn out. Maybe a little too slutty and a little worried that anyone who doesn't know about How I Met Your Mother is going to think that I have just dressed in an orange dress with weird holes in it, three months too late for Halloween.
There again, this time six years ago, I literally would not have cared about what people thought of how I looked. Which is worrying when you think about it, where did all that confidence go?? I used to be one of the most super confident and relaxed people in the world. Where has that gone? How do I get it back? I personally think the answer to those questions lies in me being happy with who I am again, and I don't know if that means changing certain things that I am unhappy with or learning to live with them. At the moment it feels as though I need outside acceptance in order for me to be happy with who I am, but I know better than most that outside acceptance just makes you crave outside acceptance from more people and therefore clearly doesn't work. I have a horrible feeling that this low self-esteem is also coming from being in a place where I just don't know where my life is headed and I'm not spending a huge amount of time with any of my best friends anymore and when we do spend time together we are so incredibly focused on making sure we have fun that I think sometimes we forget all the little things that we wanted to talk to each other about before we met up. I know it sounds weird that I'm making that a negative but if you think about it deeply I think you'll understand why.
Okay, just realised this probably reads like a stream of conciousness so perhaps I am a little more tired than I first alluded too so I'm gonna sign off now.
